There’s a lot of sex going on in my wardrobe. And it’s very free loving.
Let me explain so you can join in the fun I’m having.
The boys ie the pants, skirts, jeans, shorts and shoes and the girls ie the tops, jackets, dresses and jewellery are sharing their love around freely. The Wardrobe Madam (that’s me) likes to keep them all working. There are no slackers in my wardrobe.
The New Addition
Recently a tall, dark, handsome, clean-cut and slim addition has joined the family. He’s a pair of black Jacqui E work pants. He’s still wondering what he’s walked into. All my tops and blouses are simply dying to go out with him. He’s the sort you can take anywhere and you’ll always look good on his arm. Monogamy is not his thing as he is having fun playing the field. There are some great threesomes going on here as the jewellery is only too willing to be part of the fun.
The jumpers are waiting for a cold spell and then they will weave their charms on him. That’s the time when the summer tops and blouses are sent into hibernation. Although, in my sub-tropical climate, those girls come straight back out again whenever the temperature rises slightly.
Despite his best efforts to romance the dresses, they want nothing to do with this tall, dark, handsome, newcomer pair of pants. It’s the average men ie the shoes than make their hearts dance and their eyes sparkle. They are frustrated at the moment as they are simply waiting for their opportunity to partner with my new black and white wedges. The sensitivity of my recent DCIS breast cancer has put them in the back room. Now they figure it’s time to re-join the party.
The Fussy Ones
My blues patterned dress is being sniffy. Many of the shoes simply do not show her assets to advantage. She will partner with the black shoes but she stubbornly refuses to be seen with the red shoes. When asked, her first choice is always the aubergine patent stilettos for that bit of class. She’s lobbying me to bring in a pair of nude heels. Everyone else in the wardrobe has signed the petition. They can see the possibilities.
My blue top is also a bit selective. She prefers the outdoor type. Partner her with any of the jeans and she’s happy. Shorts aren’t her thing. She is willing to give my three-quarter pants a trial and maybe she’ll think about partnering that new tall, dark, handsome pair of black pants. No guarantees on her part. If they don’t gel instantly, she’ll call off the date before we even leave the bedroom.
It’s not only the girls making demands. My nude ankle boots are in a bit of a funk at the moment. He’s not very happy with the Blue Dress and her petition. The Wardrobe Madam (that’s me) has said he only performs well in cooler weather. He’s believes I’m not seeing all his potential. He’d really like a chance to accompany the dresses in summer and maybe do a threesome with that tall, dark and handsome pair of black pants. Sparks could fly. I’m being non-committal at the moment.
Free Love Expansion
There’s a bit of excitement in the wardrobe as I have ordered some new earrings from Etsy. The rumour is that they are quite versatile (true) and will be able to flirt with everyone.
They all agree that the Wardrobe Madam does have a discerning eye. No riff-raff allowed in here.
The Wardrobe Life Cycle
My purple Regatta top is a bit sad. She is a bit stretchy and losing her lustre as she comes into middle age. She’s been taken off the hanger and now sits folded up on a wardrobe shelf. That’s a sign that she has been relegated to grocery shopping and occasional coffee dates. Soon it will be old age. That’s when she goes to the old people’s home (in one of the bedside drawers) and never gets worn outside the house. Not that she’ll regret it as she has had a good life. She can tell you a lot of stories and she has been overseas a number of times.
Nobody is into Monogamy in my wardrobe and that’s the way I like it. As the Wardrobe Madam I like to keep my finger on the pulse and make sure everyone’s getting their share of the action. There are no wallflowers in my bedroom.
So! What’s going on in your wardrobe? Under my kind exterior lies a bit of a rebel. I teach all my clients to embrace free loving in their wardrobe. Are you game to join us?
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